a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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