I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
