Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
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Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.