well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
