I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
