does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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