If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
