Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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