I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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