And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
