Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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