i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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