I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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