I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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