dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
