another moral hangover. fuck.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
