i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
