Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
