no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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