You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he shaved USA in his pubs
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
