I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
