I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
its not stalking. its research.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
