So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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