So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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