this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
