You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
