Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
