Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
