so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
