My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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