You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
