some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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