You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
