I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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