Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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