At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
