I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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