dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize