Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
