If that was your dad, he is hot
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize