I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
