wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
