Betty ford says i'm here all night
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
