We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I take back everything I said about communal showers
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
you inspire me to be a worse person
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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