Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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