I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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