so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
