I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
