If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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