now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
