Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
