Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Sext me about skeletons
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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