I'm going to jail i love you
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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