There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
